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Lawyer is walking down the street with his pet alligator. He see a bar and peeps inside and catches the bartender's attention, "Do you serve lawyers in here?" he asks, to which the bartender replied, "Sure do." So the lawyer takes a seat at the bar and says, "Great, I'll have a Coors Lights and how about a lawyer for my gator."
A penguin decides to take a vacation to Florida so he flys down (yes, on a plane.. Penguins can't fly!) he rents a car in Miami and he's driving around sight seeing. The AC in the car isn't working and he's frying his little penguin butt off. So he find a garage that's open and tells the mechanic what's going on and the mechanic says it will be about thirty minutes.
The penguin takes a walk down the street to a convenience store to get something cold to drink. He looks in the coolers and see's klondike bar's so he decides to get one of those instead.
The little guy is outside the store eating his klondike and of course it's dripping all over him. He's sticky and covered in melted ice cream. He walks back over to the garage and the mechanic peers up from under the hood and says Hey buddy, you blew a seal!
To which the penguin replies, no.... it's a Klondike bar!
The Following User Says Thank You to Toxic11 For This Useful Post:
How to catch a polar bear: Cut a hole in the ice. Surround the hole with peas and then hide behind a snow bank. When a polar bear comes over to take a pea = kick him right in the ice hole.
__________________ Doing What Men Do Best!
2009 Stone White R/T 27J
6-Speed, Sun Roof, Heated Leather
20x8's, HID Lights, Challenger Door Sills, Mopar CAI,
1970 Challenger & R/T Emblem on the rear spoiler,
Gas Charged Hood Supports, Mopar Nose Badge
276-watt 6 Speaker Sound
Exhaust: Flowmaster 40's
Mopar Strut Tower Brace
Fuzzy White Dice
"Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel!"
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.
I just can't take that chance."
__________________ 2013 Dodge Challenger SRT8 / Special Edition / Plum Crazy Pearl
Also in the Stable: 2008 Pontiac G8 GT / Premium Package / Stealth Blue Metallic
Gone but not forgotten: 2010 Dodge Challenger SRT8 / Special Edition / Plum Crazy Pearl
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Syko For This Useful Post:
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