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post #1 of 90 (permalink) Old 01-10-2015, 06:07 PM Thread Starter
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As The Hemi Ticks (Soap Opera Style Just in Fun)

This is the writings of a member here who tried to lighten the mood when I was on my way to North Carolina from New York to have my car looked at by another dealer that was WILLING to look at it. It's rather long but its really got some funny parts that had me laughing along the way. It's written like a soap opera so if it's not your style, click back and do whatever it was you were doing before clicking here. This was written in FUN.. the situation with about 60 of us here that are trying to get Dodge to take action on our ticking cars is true..

This is quite the story about a ticking Challenger as written by Jimmy 2 Tone.

Iamawild1, I feel a road trip for you is in your future. It's only about 10 hours, 675 miles. Highway 190 south to 90 south to 79 south to 19 south to 77 south to 40 west to exit 128, take a left and the dealer is a mile in front of you. There is a hotel across the street. One day to drive down, a day in the shop, and a quiet day driving home. Easy peazzy. Luke's a great guy (met him a few times) and I would trust him and his team. They have worked on my Shaker. If the noise is being caused by a broken something, 675 miles of highway high speed road trip might cause a big time engine failure, Dodge roadside assistance will come get you, and then you will know for sure what the problem is. LOL Be sure to post pictures while on the trip. Some of the mountain views along 77 are really pretty. Come on, take a road trip. Your family will be happy to have you out of the house for a few days so they don't have to hear you complain about the car any more. And no snow in NC. Who else thinks she should take a road trip?

Hemi Takes A Lickin' But Keeps On Tickin"
I Can't Drive 55 (Because My Hemi Ticks)
Tickin' The Night Away In My Hemi
My Hemi Has A Chatter But Dodge Says It Doesn't Matter

"My Daddy said son, you're going to drive me to drinkin', if you keep on drivin' that Hemi with the clinkin'"......................................



Jimmy 2 Tone:

Stay tuned to "As the Hemi Ticks" for the next episode. Will Iamawild1 drive half way across the country to meet Luke? Will the Shaker hold together long enough to make the trip? Does Chrysler monitor this site? All this and more from the number 1 Challenger site on the web.

the next chapter of "As The Hemi Ticks" As dawn breaks in upstate New York and the minuets tick away Iamawild1 (A.K.A. Laura) packs her suitcase ahead of her 10 hour journey There are two things weighing on her mind. Does she use the Shaker's navigation system or use the talents of Steven_sbs (the human road atlas) with his turn by turn instructions. And can these Chic Jeans still turn a few heads. She downs half bottle of Geritol to keep the old ticker going, loads the Shaker and slips behind the wheel.

This preview was brought to you by "Tic Tic" not only is it a breath mint its also a signature sound. Remember if it doesn't tick its not a Hemi.

Its time for another episode of "As The Hemi Ticks"

As Laura slips behind the wheel she takes inventory, suitcase...check, cell phone...check, laptop...check, torque wrench...check. She pushes the clutch in then pushes the start button and the Hemi comes to life. Trying to stay as quiet as possible she slowly shifts into first and makes her way towards the road. Turning onto the two lane road and gradually gaining speed......Whoa...Whoa...Whoa.....Rewind. She sits at the end of the driveway, hits the button to fully open the cutouts, revs the engine to 5 grand, side steps the clutch and rockets fishtailing onto the road, bangs second gear the shaker tilts hard to the right and front end seems to float, she nails third still transferring rubber to the road. Finally she grabs fourth and the sped o nears the triple digit. Laura takes a moment to enjoy the rush then backs it down to a normal speed, now that's what having a RT Shaker is all about she say out loud. Entering the ramp to 190 south the phone rings, who could that be this early on a Sunday morning. Hello!....Hi Laura, this is Iamawild1_2 (A.K.A. Misty May, Laura's twin sister) Hey, can you do me a favor and pick me up a Southern Cooking cook book while you're in NC, Bud (Misty's love interest) wants me to make him a sweet potato pie ? (Laura) Why can't you just order in online. (Misty) you know Bud doesn't allow that stuff in the trailer, he say it allows aliens to locate us. (Laura) Okay, I'll see what I can do. (Misty) Hey, whats that ticking noise? (Laura) Nothing, I'll see you when I get back, click. Laura whispers under her breath, I told her the volley ball career wouldn't amount to anything. After about half a hour on the road she eases onto I90 towards Erie PA and settles in for the drive ahead.

Disclaimer: All characters are fictional any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental. No animals or cars were harmed during this writing.

Note: we all know not to abuse a cold engine the way fictional Laura just did, don't we.

Its time for another episode of "As The Hemi Ticks"

The last episode Laura was westbound on I-90 headed towards Erie. Not wanting to be out of place in NC Laura purchase a CD on how to talk with a southern accent. She opens the glove box and retrieve the CD, loads it into the player. After the intro the narrator covers the key points of talking with a southern accent: There are three essential ingredients to sound like you were born in the south. One, somewhere in every sentence include the phrase "y'all", Two, raise your voice at least one octave higher preferably two, and Three, see how many words you can cram into one phrase.......blah.....blah.....blah......thank you for your purchase. I think I got that, well that sure made the time fly by she says to herself. As the Shaker makes it way onto I-79 she turns the radio on and searched for a country station. She comes across a station playing the new hit single by Spasticdog70 (A.K.A. Willie) that goes like this:
On the road again,
I don't want to hear it tick again,
I drive it and it ticks will all my friends,
I just can't wait to hear it not tick again.

Oh it's ticking again,
I would like it to be quiet every now and then
I'm on my way to see if Luke can make a mend
I just want it to be fixed and not ever tick again

After the song finishes the DJ says "this was dedicated to Laura, somewhere on the road between NY and NC, by the "Chicks With Challengers". Keep it safe little Lady. She turns the radio off and says, Huh, I haven't had a song dedicated to me since high school, that's so cool. As Laura comes up on the WV line there is a big Welcome to WV sign and a smaller sing that says...........to be continued

Note: This may sound like I don't have respect for southern folks, actually I do have the utmost respect and find they some of the most hospitable people in the USA.

“As The Hemi Ticks” continues:


“As The Hemi Ticks” continues:

As Laura enter in to WV a big sign state that Governor Ned Beatty Welcome you to WV, just down the road is another sign warning motorists that there is a prison in the area and not to pick up hitch hikers. Past that is another sign that says, IF YOU HEAR BANJO MUSIC DO NOT UNDER ANY CONDITIONS STOP . Thinking to herself Laura wonders if there is any connection to Ned and banjos. No, it’s just my imagination, has to be. She’s been on the road about 4-1/2 hours now and being so excited about getting started this morning she skipped breakfast. Turing off the interstate at exit 155 she turns left on Chaplin Hill Rd. then pulls onto Holy Smoke BBQ. She go inside and seats herself at a booth and scans the menu. The server strolls over and says “Hi ya’ll, what can I get for ya”. I’ll have a large pulled pork sandwich with a large tatter tot and a jumbo Coke. Coming right up. As she waits on her order, she wonders if Ned is the same Ned that was in the Movie Deliverance. As the Server sets down her order Laura asks her if the Governor is the same person that was in the movie Deliverance. Yep, turns out he got so popular in these parts after he done that movie, he won the election without even campaigning, he's been reelected 4 times and I voted for him six times. Laura says Thank you, six times, really and begins to eat her meal. She's thinking, they sure do things differently here, I have a feeling where not in Kansas anymore Toto. Finishing her meal she pops the hood on the Shaker and check the oil, looks good, so she hops behind the wheel and continues down the interstate. I want to get through this state as fast as I can, she says out loud and turns on the radar detector. She's making pretty good and finally gets onto Highway 19 south to cut over to I-77 south. She turned her phone off after talking to Misty and now turns it on again to find 4 missed calls, 7 text messages, and 3 voice mails. She spends the next hour returning calls and text messages. It's been 8 hours since she left home, it seems much longer. With the VA state line in sight she's thankful for two things, that she didn't hear any banjos she only has 2 hours to go, WoooHoooo...................to be continued



As Laura nears the “East River Mountain” tunnel she contemplates opening her cut outs fully. Just inside the tunnel she opens the cutouts and OMG, she can’t here the tick now, and gives out a big WoooooHooooo. Enjoying the freedom of letting the Hemi breath she doesn’t notice the small panic she’s caused other motorist around her. OH NO! they must think the mountain is coming down, she quickly closes the cutouts and order is restored. As she comes out the tunnel, into the daylight she gets a few angry looks and other gestures. Maybe I should chill for a little bit, after all I’m in VA and I sure had enough people warn me about Va. There’s that Radar sign, better turn that off too. But Oh that was fun, Woooo. She set the cruise to the speed limit, tunes the radio to a country station and sits back to relax. (DJ) Here’s a old classic by Johnny Lee, If you’re out there Laura, this is dedicated to you from your friends at “Challengertalk.com” I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places Lookin' for love in too many faces ………Now that I found a friend and a lover I'll bless the day I discover you-oh you
Lookin' for love. Thanks guys, how do they know that is one of my favorite songs, she says with a whisper. Even traveling at the speed limit, getting through VA
doesn’t take that long. Crossing the border into NC, Laura kicks it up to 85 MPG and turns on the radar detector. Not too much later Laura spots what looks like a vintage police car, a black and white 1963 Ford Galaxy with what looks like a bubble gum machine on the roof, headed northbound. Five minutes later she hears the wail of a siren coming from behind. This can’t be happening, what….did I pass into some time warp or something. Laura slow down and edges the Shaker to the berm and the 63’ Ford pulls in behind her. In her rear view mirror she see a skinny little man about 5’6” with a hat too big for his head, exit his car and make his way to Laura’s driver side window. He stops, faces the car and puts both thumbs in his belt on each hip. Missy, do you know how fast you were going, in a voice 3 octaves higher than normal? She looks at the Officer’s badge…..B. Fife…..are you. (Fife) stops her and says, No, you’re thinking of me Granddad. Are you Misty…….Laura stops him a says, No, you’re thinking of my twin sister. Laura thinking this may be legit decides to turn on the charm and throws her head in a manner that makes her blond hair go over her shoulder and starts batting her blue eyes. (Fife) There’s no need for any of that. This is your lucky day Laura. Laura says, how do you know my name? (Fife) The Governor gave all law enforcement instructions: that if a Lady with ticks, driving a Challenger Shaker and looks like Misty May with a blond wig, was to get a free pass today. Well this is a Shaker, and that thing with your neck and eye is definitely a tick and you do look like Misty with a blond wig, you must be Laura. You’re free to go Missy. Laura says thanks officer Fife, and its NOT a wig, then starts the engine, when Fide says, you might want add some oil in your car and quiet that ticking. Laura nods to Fife then gets back on the road and up to speed. This has been the most bazaar day in my life, things can’t get any stranger than. The rest of the trip goes without incident as she exits I-77 onto I-40 and gets off at Exit 128……………………to be continued




Laura dumps of her luggage off in her room. She has three things to accomplish before calling it a day, find a place to eat, get the Shaker washed and answer a number of phone calls, e-mails and posts. With dinner out of the way she searched the town for a car wash. This town must close up early on Sundays, I can’t find an open car wash anywhere. Back at the hotel, she spend another couple hours on the phone and laptop before turning in for the night.
Up and at it the next morning she’s still excited about her appointment with Duke. She takes advantage of the free breakfast off the hotel lobby, having her fill of eggs, bacon and toast she fill a cup of coffee to go. As she leaves the dining area and heads for the elevators, Marilyn, behind the front desk calls Laura over. So y’all get a good night’s rest and your belly full? Laura says, I had better nights, but the breakfast hit the spot. I wanted to tell you a little bet about Duke before you see him today. Laura says why is it you know so much about me, my car and Duke as you call him. You see, I’m Jimmy’s sister and we all work together on these little projects to help people out. Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was, that the Wayne in “Wayne White Motors “is none other than John Wayne. Since John passed on it’s now just “White Motors”. Laura thinks to herself, I can’t believe this but somehow it doesn’t surprise me. Marilyn continues, John and his wife had a son named Luke and John died shortly after. Well Luke’s mother never told Luke who his father was in fear that he wouldn’t grow up having a normal life, with all the Hollywood influence and all. Hold it, Laura says, you mean to tell me that John Wayne, the actor is Luke’s father, why do I need to know this? That’s right, to this day Luke doesn’t know about this, but you may here rumors around town and I didn’t want you to say something to Duke in passing. Well, I’ll keep that under my hat, Laura promised, I really don’t thing I can get my head around this anyway. That’s all I have for now, you get out of here now and get to your appointment. I’ll do that, and Laura goes to her room to get a few things before leaving for the dealership.
As Laura pulls up to the service bay doors at White Motors, she honks the horn and the door lifts and she drives into the service write up area. There to meet her is a gentleman that’s the spitting image of a young John Wayne, I’ll be dammed, she says almost out loud. She steps out of the car and he says, hi, you must be Laura. Laura snaps back, why because I look like Misty May with a blond wig. Duke says uh...no...you have an appointment and your VIN matches up with your name, you okay? I'm sorry Luke, it's already been a long day and its only 8:00 o’clock. No problem and you can call me Duke, everyone else does, people say I look like the Duke, John Wayne, I don't see it myself. Laura's amazed, he even talks and walks like John Wayne and doesn't have a clue. I think we have all the info to get started, you just need to sign this and I will personally handle everything. If there is a way to stop that ticking, we will find it. Thanks, Duke, you can't know how much that eases my mind. Well you're going to need something drive for a few days, fortunately Jimmy's arranged a rental for you, it’s that 15' Hellcat right over there. Laura looks to where Duke is pointing and see the black Hellcat. She also notices the orange Shaker on the other side of the Hellcat. Is that Jimmy's Shaker? Yeah, I guess he's still here, I thought he left for his meeting with City Officials. City Officials! Yeah, He's trying to open a Jimmy Johns here in Newton, he owns Jimmy Johns, you know and came up with the name to pay tribute to John Wayne when John helped him out back in 1977. Yeah, I heard that part of the story yesterday from his sister Marilyn. As they are both talking the Orange Shaker starts up and drives away, again an arm comes out of the window with a thumbs up. Duke continues, Jimmy got in Saturday after his visit with the Governor, I guess they are close friend. Laura is totally dumbfounded, I can't believe he set up that whole thing with B. Fife yesterday. Where's he staying while he's in town? The Hotel on Monrow Street, old Jimmy is quite a character, next to that guy that advertises the beer on TV, Jimmy’s the second most interesting man in the world. Here's the keys and I'll be in touch, call me if I can be of any more help. Thanks again Luke. It’s Duke, and your welcome. Laura slides in behind the wheel of the Hellcat and drives off for the Hotel. I could get used to this as she plays with the throttle a bit. Back at the room she takes a moment to absorb the information she’s acquired so far today. I think I’ll get online where I feel I’m back in my own world. She logs on to Challengertalk.com and is amazed at how many members are logged on waiting to get some news.

The End



The next novel in the series will be coming out soon... watch your local social forum for where you can read the adventures of Laura on As The Hemi Ticks!

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post #2 of 90 (permalink) Old 01-10-2015, 06:12 PM
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OMG now I have a place to post the "Lost Episode"....Thanks Laura!
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post #3 of 90 (permalink) Old 01-11-2015, 04:41 PM
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As The Hemi Ticks
(the lost episodes)

In the last episode Laura left her Shaker with Duke at White Motors, scores a Hellcat for a rental car then returns to the hotel. She immediately post on ChallengerTalk that it's not looking good, but the Rep. will be their this afternoon and she will post again later. Checking her phone she sees Misty left 4 messages,all the same, where's my cook book. Laura shakes her head and let out a long sigh. I don't have time for any of this now, I'll text her that I got the book and I'll be home later this week. I'll go down to the hotel gift shop later on, I thought I saw some books in there earlier. She finishes all her correspondences, then get an E-Mail from Duke. It appears he's found 3 or 4 other Challengers with a similar tick, but he's still waiting on a 3rd opinion. He's not said the "normal" word yet, but deep in her heart she knows it's coming. I've got to get out of here and clear my mind. She grabs her jacket and the fob for the Hellcat and enters the hall then heads for the elevator and down to the lobby. As always Marilyn is behind the front desk with a friendly wave. Laura waves back not wanting to stop and hear another story, not now anyway. Even though the Hellcat is the most powerful Challenger ever made, there is something about it that just doesn't feel right, sort of obscene, more than she will ever need or want. Well since I have it available to me I'm going to stretch his legs a little bit. She starts it up and revs it a little, it least it's not ticking, lets go burn some gas. After an hour of touring the town she returns to the hotel. Back in the lobby Marilyn call Laura over to the desk, have y'all heard anything about your car yet. I haven't heard anything since earlier this morning and I didn't have my cell with me when I went out, I can't say it's looking good though. I can assure you, Marilyn says, that Duke will find a way to help you, if there is a way. I know...I know says Laura, he's my best shot right now, but know matter what happens, I'm not giving up. Well I'm going to take a look in your gift shop, see if I can find a cook book, we'll talk later I'm sure. Okay sweetly y'all look around and take your time, bye. Laura spies a book that says "157 Recipes for Sweet Potato Pie", That's it, this will give Bud a different pie everyday for almost 6 months, and look, there's a coupon for a volley ball. Who am I kidding, Misty will never crack this book open. Anyway, I can scratch them off my Christmas list, boo ya. Back in her room Laura picks up her cell and can see there are several E-mails. She takes a deep breath and opens the first E-Mail....................To be continued

Last edited by Jimmy 2-Tone; 01-11-2015 at 05:43 PM.
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post #4 of 90 (permalink) Old 01-13-2015, 04:38 PM
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"As The Hemi Ticks"
(the lost episodes) continued...................

Laura scans through the E-Mail and sure enough, there it is, from CCC as follows "the condition in question is a function of your vehicle's design and is not a defect in materials, workmanship, manufacturing, or factory preparation. These are the only types of defects covered under the new vehicle limited warranties". In so many words "NORMAL". She slowly sits herself on the end of the bed and covers her face with her hands then sits motionless for several minuets. On the verge of tears she raises her head and stands up, walks to the mirror and takes a long look at herself. Speaking in a loud voice she says, I will not give in, I will not submit, this is only one battle, this is only the begining of the war. Feeling exhausted, she lies down on the bed and curdles herself around a pillow. A few minuets later she falls asleep.

After and couple hours of needed sleep she sits up and wipes the sleep from her eyes, then walks to the bathroom to freshen up. Checking her phone she sees that Duke called while she was asleep. Returning the call Duke confirms that all hope has evaporated. She thanks him and makes sure he knows that there is no hard feelings and he did more than any other dealer has done so far. I'll be over to pick up my car a little later, Duke expresses his simplicity and offers a few suggestions, they conclude their conversation and she hangs up. Laura logs onto ChallengerTalk to post the latest update and informs the other members that she will be going home the next morning.

She gathers her things and heads for the dealership. Duke is there to meet her as she gets out of the Hellcat. He apologies numerous times and says if it was up to me I would give you a new motor and.....she holds her hand up and Duke stops talking.....It's okay Laura says, it's not your fault, you did all you could, I'll have to just attack this from another angle, I'm not a quitter. They finish up the paper work and she gets behind the wheel of her Shaker. For a split second just before she pushes the start button she hopes by some miracle the tick will be gone.The instant the engine turns over is valuation of another lost hope. It least Duke got the Shaker cleaned up from the mess it was this morning and I don't have to be embarrassed by driving a dirty car.

Back in her room she realizes that she's not eaten since breakfasts and it's starting to get dark. She takes a quick shower and changes clothes, combs her hair and puts on a little makeup and purfume. Checking herself in the full length mirror she says to herself, Yeah, these Chic jeans fit as good as the day I brought them. I want to put this day behind me, have a good dinner and relax before I leave tomorrow. As she exits the room into the hall she notices a man coming out of the room 810. Wow.....he is sure dressed to kill and look at those pearly whites, he must be going out to a Honky Tonk somewhere. He glances her way smiles and says evening ma'am. She returns the greeting with a hello. As he walks towards the elevator with her not far behind, she hears him whistling a tune from what she think is a George Strait song. She subconsciously starts to sing the words in a low soft voice......carrying your love with me West Virgina down to Tennessee...... As they stand waiting on the elevator she tries to take short glances at him without him noticing, he's basically dressed like George Strait, cowboy boots with silver toes, neatly pressed jeans, a white long sleeved shirt, again neatly pressed with silver tips on the collar, a black cowboy hat and oh a belt with one of those big oval belt buckles. He enters the elevator first and hold the door for her, she steps in and notices the buckle has the initial GS. Her first thought is no, this couldn't really be him, but in light of all the strange things I've experienced the past two days, it could be. With his beard it's hard to tell.To her surprise he asks her if she is enjoying her stay in town. She decided to give the standard canned answer, yes I'm having a good time. It's a real friendly town they have here. The doors open and they move into the lobby. Oh what the hell, she says sir, can I ask you a question? He replies, sure. Are you George Strait? He hesitated a few seconds then lets out a chuckle and looks her in the eye and says, no but I get that a lot. I'm actually on my way to the Country Palace, where they are holding a George Strait look-a-like contest. Oh.....I'm sorry, you do look a lot like him and after the last couple days I'm begin to think anything can happen in this town. Anyway, I won't hold you up any longer and good luck with the contest. Thanks ma'am. He turn to walk away, takes a couple of steps turns around winks and says nice jeans and with a wave heads out to the parking lot. She watches as he disappears around the corner. She feels a warm feeling spread across her face and a sort of disoriented feeling. Laura......Laura......she hears her name being called and looks around to see Marilyn calling her from behind the desk. Laura walks over to the desk and Marilyn asks Laura if she's okay. Yeah...yeah...I'm alright...oh I wanted to ask you something. Sure honey go ahead. I wanted to thank Jimmy for everything he's done for me, do you know where he is? Well I could tell you but I think...............to be continued
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post #5 of 90 (permalink) Old 01-15-2015, 04:29 PM
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“As The Hemi Ticks”
(The Lost Episodes) continued


Well I could tell you but I think you already know. What do you mean, Laura asks. The man you came off the elevator with, that was Jimmy. I’m not suppose to tell you, he wanted to remain anonymous but what I just saw all bets are off. That was Jimmy....you’re saying that George look-a-like guy was Jimmy? That’s what I’m saying. And what do you mean, all bets are off? Well, that’s a family matter, but I can tell you the story that gets you up to speed. Laura says, why not, I’m hungry but this interests me. Well, back in the 70’s when Jimmy was entering disco contests, he never lost, he was considered the best in the country. This didn’t escape the eye of Hollywood and they wanted Jimmy to be cast as Tony Manero in the movie Saturday Night Fever. At the advice of Mr. Wayne and others he turned down the offer but suggested they give his cousin John Travolta a shot at it. Laura starts laughing.....this is perfect....just perfect...go on. So the casting director does give John a chance, at the time John was an up and coming TV star, and they will give John the part as long as Jimmy does the choreographing. Jimmy agrees and the rest is history. Marilyn looking at Laura sees the disbelief in her face. It’s all true, every bit of it, I know he almost sounds like Forest Gump, but it’s true, you can’t make this stuff up. It’s not just the big cities that have a story to tell, small towns like ours do too. You know, somehow, for some reason, I believe you. Would Jimmy’s last name is also be Travolta? Yep, that’s on our father’s side, I was a Travolta too until I got married. Jimmy never regretted turning down the roll but he has always liked being on the fringe of celebrity status, but that has it’s ugly side too. A few years ago.....well I’ve probable said too much already, Jimmy would kill me if he knew I told you this much. You said you were hungry, I’ll let you go so y’all can go eat, might I suggest the Rusty Nail a few blocks down on the right after you turn left out of here onto the main road. Maybe I give it a try, I’ll see you later.


Laura takes Marilyn’s advice and drive to the Rusty Nail and asks the hostess for a booth. After being seated the server asks if she would like a glass of wine or a ****tail before dinner. She orders a glass of wine and searches the menu for something appetizing. When the server returns to take her order, Laura orders the house special of fried chicken with waffles drizzled with a honey glaze. I see you have corn chowder, I’ll take that also and a glass of water. She takes her time sipping her wine and starts to feel a little more relaxed. Her food arrives and she samples the corn chowder first….umm….this is good, next she takes a bite of waffle and chicken together….umm….umm....umm my God this is good. She savors every bite and eats slowly. Finishing her meal she orders another glass of wine. This has been quite a day, I don’t know when I’ve felt so many emotions in one day. As she’s asks for the check she sees none other than Jimmy come through the door. He about to be seated when he see Laura, he tries to appear to not see her but she stand up and waves him over. She thinks to herself, he thinks I don’t know who he is, this might be fun. He says, hello again, didn’t think I’d see you again. She says, It’s a small town I guess, what can I say. I see you’ve eaten and about ready to go. Oh, I have all night, I could use some company anyway, I can get another glass of wine if you want to order. Well if you don’t mind, he says and orders the house special. He says, I would like to apologize for the wink and the comment about your jeans, frankly I thought I would never see you again and I was me just being me. No need to apologize, I took it as a compliment . Thank you, he says. They chit chat back and forth for nearly half an hour when she asks him how the look-a-like contest went. I didn’t stay for the finish, I probably would not have won anyway because of the beard, I’ve won before but was clean shaven. You could have tried anyway, she says. I'm also feeling a little guilty about entering the contest because I out smarted my better judgement. I told my wife (Dixie) I would never enter another one. What harm could there be in that, she asks. A couple years ago I entered a contest and won first place, the strange think is the real George was their and I still won. Long story short, I was stocked by a women that was crazy about George and she threatened Dixie’s life among a bunch of other things, we labeled her "The Dragon", it took nearly two years to finally get her put away. Laura doesn’t even react, by now she immune to anymore shock and the wine’s helping out a little too. Laura thinks this must be the family matter Marilyn was talking about. Well I didn’t see anyone follow you in here so I’d say your safe. Don't out smart your better judgment and don't tell Dixie unless you have a pocket full if diamonds. Very funny, you're probable right thought. Jimmy finished his meal and the conversation winds down, he but hesitates to leave because he knows that if Laura see his car in the parking lot she will know who he is. Laura picks up on that and say, you go ahead I’ll finish my wine. Jimmy a bit relieved, thanks her for the company and picks up both checks, by the way my name is James. My name is Laura, pleased to meet you. He replies, same here, take care. You too, good bye. He pay the cashier, takes a glance back and walks out the door..................to be continued

Last edited by Jimmy 2-Tone; 01-16-2015 at 08:15 AM.
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"As The Hemi Ticks"
(the lost episodes) continued

Laura finishes her wine, gets up to leave and realizes she shouldn't be driving. She asks the hostess to call the hotel and ask for Marilyn. The hostess does as requested and hands the phone to Laura, hi Marilyn, this is Laura.... hi Laura, what can I do for you....I'm over at the Rusty Nail and I need Jimmy to walk over here and drive my car back to the hotel, if he's there.....he's right here, I'll tell him.....don't tell Jimmy I know who he is please.....that will be out little secret Honey, He'll be right over......thanks, good bye. Laura thanks the hostess and steps outside to wait on Jimmy (now AKA James). James shows up in a few Minutes, this is the third time tonight, what are the odds. Laura laughs, it's a real small town. Where is your car, James asks? That black Challenger over there. As they walk to the car he open the passenger door and she steps in, then he gets behind the wheel. After he starts the car she asks if he knows how to drive a manual. I think I got this he says and drives up to the road. What's this switch over by my left knee? Go ahead and push it, she says. He pushes it and the exhaust turns to a loud low rumble, he says wow with a big grin on his face, do you mind if we go for a little ride. No, go ahead, better push the button again unless you want to wake the whole town. I'll do that, Its a little too loud for me. You know this is a first for me. How's that, he says. This is the first time I ever let someone drive my Shaker and the first time I've ridden in the passenger seat. Well I feel honored, I'll take good care of it for you. As they gain some speed he says, so that's the infamous ticking noise? I don't hear anything, she says, at least until tomorrow morning. He looks over at her to see if she's serious but it's too dark to see her face. After about ten minutes they arrive at the hotel and he parks where she instructs him to. I wonder who owns that orange Shaker across the lot. she says. I don't know, but I'd give my eye teeth for a car like that. Laura thinks to herself....this would be so much simpler if I told him I know who he is. I know who you are Jimmy, Laura says, as if she can’t wait to get it out. Jimmy, quickly turns his head to look at her. She is half smiling, waiting for his reply. I…uh...I…don’t know what to say. There’s no need to explain, your sister told me everything, I understand. She’s a little mad about you going to that George look-alike thing though. Yeah…, I know, she told me right before you called the hotel. How long have you known who I am? Right after you left the hotel, you know, when you said “nice jeans”. You’re not gonna to let that go, are you? Laura laughs, which puts Jimmy a little more at ease. You know Jimmy, despite the disappointment over this car today, I’ve had a real nice time tonight, I’m kind of glad your sister squealed on you. Yeah, I’m sorry Duke couldn’t deliver, he did his best, I’m having a good time too, It’s great to have a conversation with someone face to face. Everywhere I go people are on their phones talking, texting, E-Mailing or leaving voice mail, there is Facebook and all kinds of social media sites. She says, I know what you mean, but I think its only going to get worse. The both continue talking and lose track of time when Jimmy looks at his watch and its quarter till 12. Oh my God, look at the time, he says, I guess I should be getting to my room. Yeah, me to, got a 10 hour drive tomorrow. He gets out of the car, goes around to open her door and she step out.

As they walk towards the entrance Jimmy asks Laura if she wants to drive a Shaker that doesn't tick? He throws her the fob and says, I thing you're good to drive. She says, awe why not, I won't get to sleep anyway. They both jump in Jimmy's Shaker and she takes a moment to adjust the seat, mirrors and seat belt. He couldn't help but notice her motions were like that of a race car driver preparing for a race, including that grin on her face. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly then rechecks his seat belt. He starts talking a little faster and Laura says, relax Jimmy, your in good hands. He say, I have a proposal for you. What would that be, she says. I got a call from Spasticdog70 (AKA Willie) today and he will be in Kodak TN tomorrow for computer system install. He found out I was here and headed that way tomorrow so he invited me to have lunch with him and I excepted. Instead of driving on home after lunch I'm going to stay over night in Pigeon Forge and go on home Wednesday. You're welcome to come along if you'd like. Let me sleep on it and I'll give you an answer tomorrow. Is that needle on 90? Relax Jimmy and quit stepping on the passenger brake peddle. It's not that I don't drive like this, it's just that I'm not in control. This feels exactly like my car without the ticking.....when I close my eyes, she says. He snaps his head around to see her face and at the same moment she turns to look at him, got ya. They both have a good laugh and she slows down to the speed limit. This has been fun, but we better be getting back, she says. It's about 1:00 in the morning when they get back to the hotel and to there rooms. As Jimmy stops at his room she says, join be for breakfast at about 8:00? Yeah....yeah I could do that. Well see ya then, good night. She continues on to her room as Jimmy watches until she is safely in her room.................to be continued
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What? No hanky panky? 😄


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[QUOTE=HEMIZSP;4267418]What? No hanky panky? 😄

Jimmy was doing good just to stay up after 10:00P.M
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What? No hanky panky? 😄


oh my god... i'm still sitting here laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

still laughing...


still laughing.....
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Laura awoke with no idea where she was. Her head felt foggy and her eyelids heavy. She could move, but almost in slow motion it seemed. Like a dream, except it wasnt she knew. She pinched herself a second time just to make sure and drew blood this time, nope, no dream she thought.

Although it was dark, she could make out some features of the room she was in. She didn't know for sure, but it FELT big, like one of those long Roman hallways. The darker shadows appeared to be columns rising too far up for her to see the tops. For the hundredth time her eyes blinked, trying to make out features in this hollow feeling place, but it was no use, there just wasn't enough light.

Laura put her hands on the nearest column and tried to stand, but it was like moving underwater. Laura's friends always called her a determined lady and she'd be damned if a little grogginess was going to beat her. Finally, on her second attempt she made it to her feet. She could see a little further now, but it was the same as before, just more of it.

It was coming back to her now, the memories like little threads being pulled one at a time from a woolen sweater...."I must remember"! she thought to herself. For a moment she wondered if she had spoken aloud, but there was no echo and surely there would be in a room as cavernous as this one appeared to be. Laura remembered she had gone on a road trip, something to do with a car..HER car!

Laura plucked another thread of memory and recalled she had gone out for dinner before going back to the hotel, but she had not dined with anyone...in fact she remembered clearly having a club soda with her meal, taking the elevator to her room and watching CNN before falling asleep.

As she was replaying her last evening over and over again in her mind, in the far range of her vision, it appeared less dark, as if a light had been turned on.."WHOS THERE" she yelled at the top of her lungs....but it came out as a whisper, barely audible to her own ears. "I must be going crazy" she thought to herself. "It must be a dream" but as she glanced at her arm she could see the little blood droplet from where she pinched herself earlier...and knew once again this was no dream.

All at once there was intense brightness in Laura's eyes, as if the sun itself had descended on her. Her hand flew to her eyes to protect them, but the light strangely caused no pain as she lowered her hands. The room was endless, with floor and columns resembling marble, but not quite marble, a strange polished white color.

"Hello Laura" said a voice which seemed to be RIGHT behind her. Laura would remember her feet actually leaving the floor she was so startled. As she moved around the column to put it between her and the voice, she spotted the most handsome man she had ever seen in her life. He was tall, at least 6ft 4" and had the build of an NFL linebacker, thin waist, broad shoulders, long blond flowing hair past his ears and the deepest blue eyes she had ever seen. Laura couldn't even remember seeing a blue like that before, except on something called a B5..whatever that was..she couldn't remember.

He was attired in what she thought could be a $5000.00 suit. Obviously custom tailored and perfect..TOO perfect she thought..an illusion maybe, or her mind was playing tricks on her. As her eyes traveled downwards, the only flaw she noticed was his shoes, they looked ill fitting and too large for him, strange she wondered.

"Wha..WHAT DO YOU WANT" she managed to get out.

The man with the most beautiful face she had ever seen started to speak...but strangely although she could clearly hear his voice, his lips did not appear to be moving.

"Laura, Laura, Laura" he said as he slowly moved his head from side to side. The trouble you have caused me is incalculable. I just dont know what to do with you.

Laura had no idea what he was talking about of course. She was still trying to come to grips with her situation and although she felt no danger, she didnt like any bit of this whole deal.

"Go on" she croaked...

"Let me show you something" he said..instantly the room was transformed in to the most breathtaking landscape she had ever seen...spires reaching up to the limit of her sight, shards of crystal as big as an ocean liner jutting up from the ground...and the statues!! Thousands of fantastical statues, some human looking, some animal, and some a bit of both, strange looking insect type things..all motionless before her eyes.

"Its..its beautiful she thought to herself. "Yes" the man said. Laura was SURE she hadnt spoken out loud, but this was all so strange...she had doubts about everything.

This was all too much for Laura and she slumped to the floor...her eyes were level with the mans shoes...except they no longer looked like shoes..they resembled..... hooves, cloven hooves...and they were smoldering.

"You see Laura" said the man, I have a brother...he lives in, shall we say, a "different" area than I do...for some reason I cannot fathom, he listens to you humans and every now and then grants a wish, especially annoying as it affects me. Do you remember the last thing you thought of before sleeping last night? Thats right Laura, THINK!....I see its coming back to you now as Laura began to understand she started moaning "no No No it CANT be"...Yes Laura said Lucifer, it is. Dodge has fixed your Hemi tick and Hell has frozen over!!!!

Laura awoke in the hotel bed, bathed in a cold sweat..."Oh my GOODNESS what a weird dream" she laughed out loud. Gotta stay away from that Marinara sauce before bed..jeez what a dream!

As Laura was opening up the drapes her cell rang and it was the dealership telling her they had found the problem and were issuing a Recall Notice for all variants of the Hemi engines exhibiting the ticking problem. Hers would be one of the first in line. Laura couldn't be happier!

Laura padded to the bathroom, looking forward to one of the best days of her life. She had WON and would celebrate by doing some shopping and buying a few things for her beloved Challenger. She put that crazy dream out of her mind and entered the bathroom.

The ambulance arrived 7 minutes after the hysterical shrieking started in Lauras room...."she'll be fine" said the EMT to the hotel employee and Laura s next door room guest. We think shes had some sort of traumatic incident and the stress just caught up with her...we'll keep her calm for a few hours and send her on her way.

The hotel employee watched as the woman named Laura was taken out on the gurney...the woman with pure, snow white hair, who he knew for a certainty had checked in the night before with vibrant blonde hair...


NOTE: If I have intruded on the thread, or anything, please tell me and I can delete this. Just thought I'd try my hand at adding something for a change


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