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This is the writings of a member here who tried to lighten the mood when I was on my way to North Carolina from New York to have my car looked at by another dealer that was WILLING to look at it. It's rather long but its really got some funny parts that had me laughing along the way. It's written like a soap opera so if it's not your style, click back and do whatever it was you were doing before clicking here. This was written in FUN.. the situation with about 60 of us here that are trying to get Dodge to take action on our ticking cars is true..

This is quite the story about a ticking Challenger as written by Jimmy 2 Tone.

Iamawild1, I feel a road trip for you is in your future. It's only about 10 hours, 675 miles. Highway 190 south to 90 south to 79 south to 19 south to 77 south to 40 west to exit 128, take a left and the dealer is a mile in front of you. There is a hotel across the street. One day to drive down, a day in the shop, and a quiet day driving home. Easy peazzy. Luke's a great guy (met him a few times) and I would trust him and his team. They have worked on my Shaker. If the noise is being caused by a broken something, 675 miles of highway high speed road trip might cause a big time engine failure, Dodge roadside assistance will come get you, and then you will know for sure what the problem is. LOL Be sure to post pictures while on the trip. Some of the mountain views along 77 are really pretty. Come on, take a road trip. Your family will be happy to have you out of the house for a few days so they don't have to hear you complain about the car any more. And no snow in NC. Who else thinks she should take a road trip?

Hemi Takes A Lickin' But Keeps On Tickin"
I Can't Drive 55 (Because My Hemi Ticks)
Tickin' The Night Away In My Hemi
My Hemi Has A Chatter But Dodge Says It Doesn't Matter

"My Daddy said son, you're going to drive me to drinkin', if you keep on drivin' that Hemi with the clinkin'"......................................



Jimmy 2 Tone:

Stay tuned to "As the Hemi Ticks" for the next episode. Will Iamawild1 drive half way across the country to meet Luke? Will the Shaker hold together long enough to make the trip? Does Chrysler monitor this site? All this and more from the number 1 Challenger site on the web.

the next chapter of "As The Hemi Ticks" As dawn breaks in upstate New York and the minuets tick away Iamawild1 (A.K.A. Laura) packs her suitcase ahead of her 10 hour journey There are two things weighing on her mind. Does she use the Shaker's navigation system or use the talents of Steven_sbs (the human road atlas) with his turn by turn instructions. And can these Chic Jeans still turn a few heads. She downs half bottle of Geritol to keep the old ticker going, loads the Shaker and slips behind the wheel.

This preview was brought to you by "Tic Tic" not only is it a breath mint its also a signature sound. Remember if it doesn't tick its not a Hemi.

Its time for another episode of "As The Hemi Ticks"

As Laura slips behind the wheel she takes inventory, suitcase...check, cell phone...check, laptop...check, torque wrench...check. She pushes the clutch in then pushes the start button and the Hemi comes to life. Trying to stay as quiet as possible she slowly shifts into first and makes her way towards the road. Turning onto the two lane road and gradually gaining speed......Whoa...Whoa...Whoa.....Rewind. She sits at the end of the driveway, hits the button to fully open the cutouts, revs the engine to 5 grand, side steps the clutch and rockets fishtailing onto the road, bangs second gear the shaker tilts hard to the right and front end seems to float, she nails third still transferring rubber to the road. Finally she grabs fourth and the sped o nears the triple digit. Laura takes a moment to enjoy the rush then backs it down to a normal speed, now that's what having a RT Shaker is all about she say out loud. Entering the ramp to 190 south the phone rings, who could that be this early on a Sunday morning. Hello!....Hi Laura, this is Iamawild1_2 (A.K.A. Misty May, Laura's twin sister) Hey, can you do me a favor and pick me up a Southern Cooking cook book while you're in NC, Bud (Misty's love interest) wants me to make him a sweet potato pie ? (Laura) Why can't you just order in online. (Misty) you know Bud doesn't allow that stuff in the trailer, he say it allows aliens to locate us. (Laura) Okay, I'll see what I can do. (Misty) Hey, whats that ticking noise? (Laura) Nothing, I'll see you when I get back, click. Laura whispers under her breath, I told her the volley ball career wouldn't amount to anything. After about half a hour on the road she eases onto I90 towards Erie PA and settles in for the drive ahead.

Disclaimer: All characters are fictional any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental. No animals or cars were harmed during this writing.

Note: we all know not to abuse a cold engine the way fictional Laura just did, don't we.

Its time for another episode of "As The Hemi Ticks"

The last episode Laura was westbound on I-90 headed towards Erie. Not wanting to be out of place in NC Laura purchase a CD on how to talk with a southern accent. She opens the glove box and retrieve the CD, loads it into the player. After the intro the narrator covers the key points of talking with a southern accent: There are three essential ingredients to sound like you were born in the south. One, somewhere in every sentence include the phrase "y'all", Two, raise your voice at least one octave higher preferably two, and Three, see how many words you can cram into one phrase.......blah.....blah.....blah......thank you for your purchase. I think I got that, well that sure made the time fly by she says to herself. As the Shaker makes it way onto I-79 she turns the radio on and searched for a country station. She comes across a station playing the new hit single by Spasticdog70 (A.K.A. Willie) that goes like this:
On the road again,
I don't want to hear it tick again,
I drive it and it ticks will all my friends,
I just can't wait to hear it not tick again.

Oh it's ticking again,
I would like it to be quiet every now and then
I'm on my way to see if Luke can make a mend
I just want it to be fixed and not ever tick again

After the song finishes the DJ says "this was dedicated to Laura, somewhere on the road between NY and NC, by the "Chicks With Challengers". Keep it safe little Lady. She turns the radio off and says, Huh, I haven't had a song dedicated to me since high school, that's so cool. As Laura comes up on the WV line there is a big Welcome to WV sign and a smaller sing that says...........to be continued

Note: This may sound like I don't have respect for southern folks, actually I do have the utmost respect and find they some of the most hospitable people in the USA.

“As The Hemi Ticks” continues:


“As The Hemi Ticks” continues:

As Laura enter in to WV a big sign state that Governor Ned Beatty Welcome you to WV, just down the road is another sign warning motorists that there is a prison in the area and not to pick up hitch hikers. Past that is another sign that says, IF YOU HEAR BANJO MUSIC DO NOT UNDER ANY CONDITIONS STOP . Thinking to herself Laura wonders if there is any connection to Ned and banjos. No, it’s just my imagination, has to be. She’s been on the road about 4-1/2 hours now and being so excited about getting started this morning she skipped breakfast. Turing off the interstate at exit 155 she turns left on Chaplin Hill Rd. then pulls onto Holy Smoke BBQ. She go inside and seats herself at a booth and scans the menu. The server strolls over and says “Hi ya’ll, what can I get for ya”. I’ll have a large pulled pork sandwich with a large tatter tot and a jumbo Coke. Coming right up. As she waits on her order, she wonders if Ned is the same Ned that was in the Movie Deliverance. As the Server sets down her order Laura asks her if the Governor is the same person that was in the movie Deliverance. Yep, turns out he got so popular in these parts after he done that movie, he won the election without even campaigning, he's been reelected 4 times and I voted for him six times. Laura says Thank you, six times, really and begins to eat her meal. She's thinking, they sure do things differently here, I have a feeling where not in Kansas anymore Toto. Finishing her meal she pops the hood on the Shaker and check the oil, looks good, so she hops behind the wheel and continues down the interstate. I want to get through this state as fast as I can, she says out loud and turns on the radar detector. She's making pretty good and finally gets onto Highway 19 south to cut over to I-77 south. She turned her phone off after talking to Misty and now turns it on again to find 4 missed calls, 7 text messages, and 3 voice mails. She spends the next hour returning calls and text messages. It's been 8 hours since she left home, it seems much longer. With the VA state line in sight she's thankful for two things, that she didn't hear any banjos she only has 2 hours to go, WoooHoooo...................to be continued



As Laura nears the “East River Mountain” tunnel she contemplates opening her cut outs fully. Just inside the tunnel she opens the cutouts and OMG, she can’t here the tick now, and gives out a big WoooooHooooo. Enjoying the freedom of letting the Hemi breath she doesn’t notice the small panic she’s caused other motorist around her. OH NO! they must think the mountain is coming down, she quickly closes the cutouts and order is restored. As she comes out the tunnel, into the daylight she gets a few angry looks and other gestures. Maybe I should chill for a little bit, after all I’m in VA and I sure had enough people warn me about Va. There’s that Radar sign, better turn that off too. But Oh that was fun, Woooo. She set the cruise to the speed limit, tunes the radio to a country station and sits back to relax. (DJ) Here’s a old classic by Johnny Lee, If you’re out there Laura, this is dedicated to you from your friends at “Challengertalk.com” I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places Lookin' for love in too many faces ………Now that I found a friend and a lover I'll bless the day I discover you-oh you
Lookin' for love. Thanks guys, how do they know that is one of my favorite songs, she says with a whisper. Even traveling at the speed limit, getting through VA
doesn’t take that long. Crossing the border into NC, Laura kicks it up to 85 MPG and turns on the radar detector. Not too much later Laura spots what looks like a vintage police car, a black and white 1963 Ford Galaxy with what looks like a bubble gum machine on the roof, headed northbound. Five minutes later she hears the wail of a siren coming from behind. This can’t be happening, what….did I pass into some time warp or something. Laura slow down and edges the Shaker to the berm and the 63’ Ford pulls in behind her. In her rear view mirror she see a skinny little man about 5’6” with a hat too big for his head, exit his car and make his way to Laura’s driver side window. He stops, faces the car and puts both thumbs in his belt on each hip. Missy, do you know how fast you were going, in a voice 3 octaves higher than normal? She looks at the Officer’s badge…..B. Fife…..are you. (Fife) stops her and says, No, you’re thinking of me Granddad. Are you Misty…….Laura stops him a says, No, you’re thinking of my twin sister. Laura thinking this may be legit decides to turn on the charm and throws her head in a manner that makes her blond hair go over her shoulder and starts batting her blue eyes. (Fife) There’s no need for any of that. This is your lucky day Laura. Laura says, how do you know my name? (Fife) The Governor gave all law enforcement instructions: that if a Lady with ticks, driving a Challenger Shaker and looks like Misty May with a blond wig, was to get a free pass today. Well this is a Shaker, and that thing with your neck and eye is definitely a tick and you do look like Misty with a blond wig, you must be Laura. You’re free to go Missy. Laura says thanks officer Fife, and its NOT a wig, then starts the engine, when Fide says, you might want add some oil in your car and quiet that ticking. Laura nods to Fife then gets back on the road and up to speed. This has been the most bazaar day in my life, things can’t get any stranger than. The rest of the trip goes without incident as she exits I-77 onto I-40 and gets off at Exit 128……………………to be continued




Laura dumps of her luggage off in her room. She has three things to accomplish before calling it a day, find a place to eat, get the Shaker washed and answer a number of phone calls, e-mails and posts. With dinner out of the way she searched the town for a car wash. This town must close up early on Sundays, I can’t find an open car wash anywhere. Back at the hotel, she spend another couple hours on the phone and laptop before turning in for the night.
Up and at it the next morning she’s still excited about her appointment with Duke. She takes advantage of the free breakfast off the hotel lobby, having her fill of eggs, bacon and toast she fill a cup of coffee to go. As she leaves the dining area and heads for the elevators, Marilyn, behind the front desk calls Laura over. So y’all get a good night’s rest and your belly full? Laura says, I had better nights, but the breakfast hit the spot. I wanted to tell you a little bet about Duke before you see him today. Laura says why is it you know so much about me, my car and Duke as you call him. You see, I’m Jimmy’s sister and we all work together on these little projects to help people out. Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was, that the Wayne in “Wayne White Motors “is none other than John Wayne. Since John passed on it’s now just “White Motors”. Laura thinks to herself, I can’t believe this but somehow it doesn’t surprise me. Marilyn continues, John and his wife had a son named Luke and John died shortly after. Well Luke’s mother never told Luke who his father was in fear that he wouldn’t grow up having a normal life, with all the Hollywood influence and all. Hold it, Laura says, you mean to tell me that John Wayne, the actor is Luke’s father, why do I need to know this? That’s right, to this day Luke doesn’t know about this, but you may here rumors around town and I didn’t want you to say something to Duke in passing. Well, I’ll keep that under my hat, Laura promised, I really don’t thing I can get my head around this anyway. That’s all I have for now, you get out of here now and get to your appointment. I’ll do that, and Laura goes to her room to get a few things before leaving for the dealership.
As Laura pulls up to the service bay doors at White Motors, she honks the horn and the door lifts and she drives into the service write up area. There to meet her is a gentleman that’s the spitting image of a young John Wayne, I’ll be dammed, she says almost out loud. She steps out of the car and he says, hi, you must be Laura. Laura snaps back, why because I look like Misty May with a blond wig. Duke says uh...no...you have an appointment and your VIN matches up with your name, you okay? I'm sorry Luke, it's already been a long day and its only 8:00 o’clock. No problem and you can call me Duke, everyone else does, people say I look like the Duke, John Wayne, I don't see it myself. Laura's amazed, he even talks and walks like John Wayne and doesn't have a clue. I think we have all the info to get started, you just need to sign this and I will personally handle everything. If there is a way to stop that ticking, we will find it. Thanks, Duke, you can't know how much that eases my mind. Well you're going to need something drive for a few days, fortunately Jimmy's arranged a rental for you, it’s that 15' Hellcat right over there. Laura looks to where Duke is pointing and see the black Hellcat. She also notices the orange Shaker on the other side of the Hellcat. Is that Jimmy's Shaker? Yeah, I guess he's still here, I thought he left for his meeting with City Officials. City Officials! Yeah, He's trying to open a Jimmy Johns here in Newton, he owns Jimmy Johns, you know and came up with the name to pay tribute to John Wayne when John helped him out back in 1977. Yeah, I heard that part of the story yesterday from his sister Marilyn. As they are both talking the Orange Shaker starts up and drives away, again an arm comes out of the window with a thumbs up. Duke continues, Jimmy got in Saturday after his visit with the Governor, I guess they are close friend. Laura is totally dumbfounded, I can't believe he set up that whole thing with B. Fife yesterday. Where's he staying while he's in town? The Hotel on Monrow Street, old Jimmy is quite a character, next to that guy that advertises the beer on TV, Jimmy’s the second most interesting man in the world. Here's the keys and I'll be in touch, call me if I can be of any more help. Thanks again Luke. It’s Duke, and your welcome. Laura slides in behind the wheel of the Hellcat and drives off for the Hotel. I could get used to this as she plays with the throttle a bit. Back at the room she takes a moment to absorb the information she’s acquired so far today. I think I’ll get online where I feel I’m back in my own world. She logs on to Challengertalk.com and is amazed at how many members are logged on waiting to get some news.

The End



The next novel in the series will be coming out soon... watch your local social forum for where you can read the adventures of Laura on As The Hemi Ticks!
 

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As The Hemi Ticks
(the lost episodes)

In the last episode Laura left her Shaker with Duke at White Motors, scores a Hellcat for a rental car then returns to the hotel. She immediately post on ChallengerTalk that it's not looking good, but the Rep. will be their this afternoon and she will post again later. Checking her phone she sees Misty left 4 messages,all the same, where's my cook book. Laura shakes her head and let out a long sigh. I don't have time for any of this now, I'll text her that I got the book and I'll be home later this week. I'll go down to the hotel gift shop later on, I thought I saw some books in there earlier. She finishes all her correspondences, then get an E-Mail from Duke. It appears he's found 3 or 4 other Challengers with a similar tick, but he's still waiting on a 3rd opinion. He's not said the "normal" word yet, but deep in her heart she knows it's coming. I've got to get out of here and clear my mind. She grabs her jacket and the fob for the Hellcat and enters the hall then heads for the elevator and down to the lobby. As always Marilyn is behind the front desk with a friendly wave. Laura waves back not wanting to stop and hear another story, not now anyway. Even though the Hellcat is the most powerful Challenger ever made, there is something about it that just doesn't feel right, sort of obscene, more than she will ever need or want. Well since I have it available to me I'm going to stretch his legs a little bit. She starts it up and revs it a little, it least it's not ticking, lets go burn some gas. After an hour of touring the town she returns to the hotel. Back in the lobby Marilyn call Laura over to the desk, have y'all heard anything about your car yet. I haven't heard anything since earlier this morning and I didn't have my cell with me when I went out, I can't say it's looking good though. I can assure you, Marilyn says, that Duke will find a way to help you, if there is a way. I know...I know says Laura, he's my best shot right now, but know matter what happens, I'm not giving up. Well I'm going to take a look in your gift shop, see if I can find a cook book, we'll talk later I'm sure. Okay sweetly y'all look around and take your time, bye. Laura spies a book that says "157 Recipes for Sweet Potato Pie", That's it, this will give Bud a different pie everyday for almost 6 months, and look, there's a coupon for a volley ball. Who am I kidding, Misty will never crack this book open. Anyway, I can scratch them off my Christmas list, boo ya. Back in her room Laura picks up her cell and can see there are several E-mails. She takes a deep breath and opens the first E-Mail....................To be continued
 

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"As The Hemi Ticks"
(the lost episodes) continued...................

Laura scans through the E-Mail and sure enough, there it is, from CCC as follows "the condition in question is a function of your vehicle's design and is not a defect in materials, workmanship, manufacturing, or factory preparation. These are the only types of defects covered under the new vehicle limited warranties". In so many words "NORMAL". She slowly sits herself on the end of the bed and covers her face with her hands then sits motionless for several minuets. On the verge of tears she raises her head and stands up, walks to the mirror and takes a long look at herself. Speaking in a loud voice she says, I will not give in, I will not submit, this is only one battle, this is only the begining of the war. Feeling exhausted, she lies down on the bed and curdles herself around a pillow. A few minuets later she falls asleep.

After and couple hours of needed sleep she sits up and wipes the sleep from her eyes, then walks to the bathroom to freshen up. Checking her phone she sees that Duke called while she was asleep. Returning the call Duke confirms that all hope has evaporated. She thanks him and makes sure he knows that there is no hard feelings and he did more than any other dealer has done so far. I'll be over to pick up my car a little later, Duke expresses his simplicity and offers a few suggestions, they conclude their conversation and she hangs up. Laura logs onto ChallengerTalk to post the latest update and informs the other members that she will be going home the next morning.

She gathers her things and heads for the dealership. Duke is there to meet her as she gets out of the Hellcat. He apologies numerous times and says if it was up to me I would give you a new motor and.....she holds her hand up and Duke stops talking.....It's okay Laura says, it's not your fault, you did all you could, I'll have to just attack this from another angle, I'm not a quitter. They finish up the paper work and she gets behind the wheel of her Shaker. For a split second just before she pushes the start button she hopes by some miracle the tick will be gone.The instant the engine turns over is valuation of another lost hope. It least Duke got the Shaker cleaned up from the mess it was this morning and I don't have to be embarrassed by driving a dirty car.

Back in her room she realizes that she's not eaten since breakfasts and it's starting to get dark. She takes a quick shower and changes clothes, combs her hair and puts on a little makeup and purfume. Checking herself in the full length mirror she says to herself, Yeah, these Chic jeans fit as good as the day I brought them. I want to put this day behind me, have a good dinner and relax before I leave tomorrow. As she exits the room into the hall she notices a man coming out of the room 810. Wow.....he is sure dressed to kill and look at those pearly whites, he must be going out to a Honky Tonk somewhere. He glances her way smiles and says evening ma'am. She returns the greeting with a hello. As he walks towards the elevator with her not far behind, she hears him whistling a tune from what she think is a George Strait song. She subconsciously starts to sing the words in a low soft voice......carrying your love with me West Virgina down to Tennessee...... As they stand waiting on the elevator she tries to take short glances at him without him noticing, he's basically dressed like George Strait, cowboy boots with silver toes, neatly pressed jeans, a white long sleeved shirt, again neatly pressed with silver tips on the collar, a black cowboy hat and oh a belt with one of those big oval belt buckles. He enters the elevator first and hold the door for her, she steps in and notices the buckle has the initial GS. Her first thought is no, this couldn't really be him, but in light of all the strange things I've experienced the past two days, it could be. With his beard it's hard to tell.To her surprise he asks her if she is enjoying her stay in town. She decided to give the standard canned answer, yes I'm having a good time. It's a real friendly town they have here. The doors open and they move into the lobby. Oh what the hell, she says sir, can I ask you a question? He replies, sure. Are you George Strait? He hesitated a few seconds then lets out a chuckle and looks her in the eye and says, no but I get that a lot. I'm actually on my way to the Country Palace, where they are holding a George Strait look-a-like contest. Oh.....I'm sorry, you do look a lot like him and after the last couple days I'm begin to think anything can happen in this town. Anyway, I won't hold you up any longer and good luck with the contest. Thanks ma'am. He turn to walk away, takes a couple of steps turns around winks and says nice jeans and with a wave heads out to the parking lot. She watches as he disappears around the corner. She feels a warm feeling spread across her face and a sort of disoriented feeling. Laura......Laura......she hears her name being called and looks around to see Marilyn calling her from behind the desk. Laura walks over to the desk and Marilyn asks Laura if she's okay. Yeah...yeah...I'm alright...oh I wanted to ask you something. Sure honey go ahead. I wanted to thank Jimmy for everything he's done for me, do you know where he is? Well I could tell you but I think...............to be continued
 

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“As The Hemi Ticks”
(The Lost Episodes) continued


Well I could tell you but I think you already know. What do you mean, Laura asks. The man you came off the elevator with, that was Jimmy. I’m not suppose to tell you, he wanted to remain anonymous but what I just saw all bets are off. That was Jimmy....you’re saying that George look-a-like guy was Jimmy? That’s what I’m saying. And what do you mean, all bets are off? Well, that’s a family matter, but I can tell you the story that gets you up to speed. Laura says, why not, I’m hungry but this interests me. Well, back in the 70’s when Jimmy was entering disco contests, he never lost, he was considered the best in the country. This didn’t escape the eye of Hollywood and they wanted Jimmy to be cast as Tony Manero in the movie Saturday Night Fever. At the advice of Mr. Wayne and others he turned down the offer but suggested they give his cousin John Travolta a shot at it. Laura starts laughing.....this is perfect....just perfect...go on. So the casting director does give John a chance, at the time John was an up and coming TV star, and they will give John the part as long as Jimmy does the choreographing. Jimmy agrees and the rest is history. Marilyn looking at Laura sees the disbelief in her face. It’s all true, every bit of it, I know he almost sounds like Forest Gump, but it’s true, you can’t make this stuff up. It’s not just the big cities that have a story to tell, small towns like ours do too. You know, somehow, for some reason, I believe you. Would Jimmy’s last name is also be Travolta? Yep, that’s on our father’s side, I was a Travolta too until I got married. Jimmy never regretted turning down the roll but he has always liked being on the fringe of celebrity status, but that has it’s ugly side too. A few years ago.....well I’ve probable said too much already, Jimmy would kill me if he knew I told you this much. You said you were hungry, I’ll let you go so y’all can go eat, might I suggest the Rusty Nail a few blocks down on the right after you turn left out of here onto the main road. Maybe I give it a try, I’ll see you later.


Laura takes Marilyn’s advice and drive to the Rusty Nail and asks the hostess for a booth. After being seated the server asks if she would like a glass of wine or a ****tail before dinner. She orders a glass of wine and searches the menu for something appetizing. When the server returns to take her order, Laura orders the house special of fried chicken with waffles drizzled with a honey glaze. I see you have corn chowder, I’ll take that also and a glass of water. She takes her time sipping her wine and starts to feel a little more relaxed. Her food arrives and she samples the corn chowder first….umm….this is good, next she takes a bite of waffle and chicken together….umm….umm....umm my God this is good. She savors every bite and eats slowly. Finishing her meal she orders another glass of wine. This has been quite a day, I don’t know when I’ve felt so many emotions in one day. As she’s asks for the check she sees none other than Jimmy come through the door. He about to be seated when he see Laura, he tries to appear to not see her but she stand up and waves him over. She thinks to herself, he thinks I don’t know who he is, this might be fun. He says, hello again, didn’t think I’d see you again. She says, It’s a small town I guess, what can I say. I see you’ve eaten and about ready to go. Oh, I have all night, I could use some company anyway, I can get another glass of wine if you want to order. Well if you don’t mind, he says and orders the house special. He says, I would like to apologize for the wink and the comment about your jeans, frankly I thought I would never see you again and I was me just being me. No need to apologize, I took it as a compliment . Thank you, he says. They chit chat back and forth for nearly half an hour when she asks him how the look-a-like contest went. I didn’t stay for the finish, I probably would not have won anyway because of the beard, I’ve won before but was clean shaven. You could have tried anyway, she says. I'm also feeling a little guilty about entering the contest because I out smarted my better judgement. I told my wife (Dixie) I would never enter another one. What harm could there be in that, she asks. A couple years ago I entered a contest and won first place, the strange think is the real George was their and I still won. Long story short, I was stocked by a women that was crazy about George and she threatened Dixie’s life among a bunch of other things, we labeled her "The Dragon", it took nearly two years to finally get her put away. Laura doesn’t even react, by now she immune to anymore shock and the wine’s helping out a little too. Laura thinks this must be the family matter Marilyn was talking about. Well I didn’t see anyone follow you in here so I’d say your safe. Don't out smart your better judgment and don't tell Dixie unless you have a pocket full if diamonds. Very funny, you're probable right thought. Jimmy finished his meal and the conversation winds down, he but hesitates to leave because he knows that if Laura see his car in the parking lot she will know who he is. Laura picks up on that and say, you go ahead I’ll finish my wine. Jimmy a bit relieved, thanks her for the company and picks up both checks, by the way my name is James. My name is Laura, pleased to meet you. He replies, same here, take care. You too, good bye. He pay the cashier, takes a glance back and walks out the door..................to be continued
 

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"As The Hemi Ticks"
(the lost episodes) continued

Laura finishes her wine, gets up to leave and realizes she shouldn't be driving. She asks the hostess to call the hotel and ask for Marilyn. The hostess does as requested and hands the phone to Laura, hi Marilyn, this is Laura.... hi Laura, what can I do for you....I'm over at the Rusty Nail and I need Jimmy to walk over here and drive my car back to the hotel, if he's there.....he's right here, I'll tell him.....don't tell Jimmy I know who he is please.....that will be out little secret Honey, He'll be right over......thanks, good bye. Laura thanks the hostess and steps outside to wait on Jimmy (now AKA James). James shows up in a few Minutes, this is the third time tonight, what are the odds. Laura laughs, it's a real small town. Where is your car, James asks? That black Challenger over there. As they walk to the car he open the passenger door and she steps in, then he gets behind the wheel. After he starts the car she asks if he knows how to drive a manual. I think I got this he says and drives up to the road. What's this switch over by my left knee? Go ahead and push it, she says. He pushes it and the exhaust turns to a loud low rumble, he says wow with a big grin on his face, do you mind if we go for a little ride. No, go ahead, better push the button again unless you want to wake the whole town. I'll do that, Its a little too loud for me. You know this is a first for me. How's that, he says. This is the first time I ever let someone drive my Shaker and the first time I've ridden in the passenger seat. Well I feel honored, I'll take good care of it for you. As they gain some speed he says, so that's the infamous ticking noise? I don't hear anything, she says, at least until tomorrow morning. He looks over at her to see if she's serious but it's too dark to see her face. After about ten minutes they arrive at the hotel and he parks where she instructs him to. I wonder who owns that orange Shaker across the lot. she says. I don't know, but I'd give my eye teeth for a car like that. Laura thinks to herself....this would be so much simpler if I told him I know who he is. I know who you are Jimmy, Laura says, as if she can’t wait to get it out. Jimmy, quickly turns his head to look at her. She is half smiling, waiting for his reply. I…uh...I…don’t know what to say. There’s no need to explain, your sister told me everything, I understand. She’s a little mad about you going to that George look-alike thing though. Yeah…, I know, she told me right before you called the hotel. How long have you known who I am? Right after you left the hotel, you know, when you said “nice jeans”. You’re not gonna to let that go, are you? Laura laughs, which puts Jimmy a little more at ease. You know Jimmy, despite the disappointment over this car today, I’ve had a real nice time tonight, I’m kind of glad your sister squealed on you. Yeah, I’m sorry Duke couldn’t deliver, he did his best, I’m having a good time too, It’s great to have a conversation with someone face to face. Everywhere I go people are on their phones talking, texting, E-Mailing or leaving voice mail, there is Facebook and all kinds of social media sites. She says, I know what you mean, but I think its only going to get worse. The both continue talking and lose track of time when Jimmy looks at his watch and its quarter till 12. Oh my God, look at the time, he says, I guess I should be getting to my room. Yeah, me to, got a 10 hour drive tomorrow. He gets out of the car, goes around to open her door and she step out.

As they walk towards the entrance Jimmy asks Laura if she wants to drive a Shaker that doesn't tick? He throws her the fob and says, I thing you're good to drive. She says, awe why not, I won't get to sleep anyway. They both jump in Jimmy's Shaker and she takes a moment to adjust the seat, mirrors and seat belt. He couldn't help but notice her motions were like that of a race car driver preparing for a race, including that grin on her face. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly then rechecks his seat belt. He starts talking a little faster and Laura says, relax Jimmy, your in good hands. He say, I have a proposal for you. What would that be, she says. I got a call from Spasticdog70 (AKA Willie) today and he will be in Kodak TN tomorrow for computer system install. He found out I was here and headed that way tomorrow so he invited me to have lunch with him and I excepted. Instead of driving on home after lunch I'm going to stay over night in Pigeon Forge and go on home Wednesday. You're welcome to come along if you'd like. Let me sleep on it and I'll give you an answer tomorrow. Is that needle on 90? Relax Jimmy and quit stepping on the passenger brake peddle. It's not that I don't drive like this, it's just that I'm not in control. This feels exactly like my car without the ticking.....when I close my eyes, she says. He snaps his head around to see her face and at the same moment she turns to look at him, got ya. They both have a good laugh and she slows down to the speed limit. This has been fun, but we better be getting back, she says. It's about 1:00 in the morning when they get back to the hotel and to there rooms. As Jimmy stops at his room she says, join be for breakfast at about 8:00? Yeah....yeah I could do that. Well see ya then, good night. She continues on to her room as Jimmy watches until she is safely in her room.................to be continued
 

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Discussion Starter #9
What? No hanky panky? 😄


oh my god... i'm still sitting here laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

still laughing...


still laughing.....
 

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Laura awoke with no idea where she was. Her head felt foggy and her eyelids heavy. She could move, but almost in slow motion it seemed. Like a dream, except it wasnt she knew. She pinched herself a second time just to make sure and drew blood this time, nope, no dream she thought.

Although it was dark, she could make out some features of the room she was in. She didn't know for sure, but it FELT big, like one of those long Roman hallways. The darker shadows appeared to be columns rising too far up for her to see the tops. For the hundredth time her eyes blinked, trying to make out features in this hollow feeling place, but it was no use, there just wasn't enough light.

Laura put her hands on the nearest column and tried to stand, but it was like moving underwater. Laura's friends always called her a determined lady and she'd be damned if a little grogginess was going to beat her. Finally, on her second attempt she made it to her feet. She could see a little further now, but it was the same as before, just more of it.

It was coming back to her now, the memories like little threads being pulled one at a time from a woolen sweater...."I must remember"! she thought to herself. For a moment she wondered if she had spoken aloud, but there was no echo and surely there would be in a room as cavernous as this one appeared to be. Laura remembered she had gone on a road trip, something to do with a car..HER car!

Laura plucked another thread of memory and recalled she had gone out for dinner before going back to the hotel, but she had not dined with anyone...in fact she remembered clearly having a club soda with her meal, taking the elevator to her room and watching CNN before falling asleep.

As she was replaying her last evening over and over again in her mind, in the far range of her vision, it appeared less dark, as if a light had been turned on.."WHOS THERE" she yelled at the top of her lungs....but it came out as a whisper, barely audible to her own ears. "I must be going crazy" she thought to herself. "It must be a dream" but as she glanced at her arm she could see the little blood droplet from where she pinched herself earlier...and knew once again this was no dream.

All at once there was intense brightness in Laura's eyes, as if the sun itself had descended on her. Her hand flew to her eyes to protect them, but the light strangely caused no pain as she lowered her hands. The room was endless, with floor and columns resembling marble, but not quite marble, a strange polished white color.

"Hello Laura" said a voice which seemed to be RIGHT behind her. Laura would remember her feet actually leaving the floor she was so startled. As she moved around the column to put it between her and the voice, she spotted the most handsome man she had ever seen in her life. He was tall, at least 6ft 4" and had the build of an NFL linebacker, thin waist, broad shoulders, long blond flowing hair past his ears and the deepest blue eyes she had ever seen. Laura couldn't even remember seeing a blue like that before, except on something called a B5..whatever that was..she couldn't remember.

He was attired in what she thought could be a $5000.00 suit. Obviously custom tailored and perfect..TOO perfect she thought..an illusion maybe, or her mind was playing tricks on her. As her eyes traveled downwards, the only flaw she noticed was his shoes, they looked ill fitting and too large for him, strange she wondered.

"Wha..WHAT DO YOU WANT" she managed to get out.

The man with the most beautiful face she had ever seen started to speak...but strangely although she could clearly hear his voice, his lips did not appear to be moving.

"Laura, Laura, Laura" he said as he slowly moved his head from side to side. The trouble you have caused me is incalculable. I just dont know what to do with you.

Laura had no idea what he was talking about of course. She was still trying to come to grips with her situation and although she felt no danger, she didnt like any bit of this whole deal.

"Go on" she croaked...

"Let me show you something" he said..instantly the room was transformed in to the most breathtaking landscape she had ever seen...spires reaching up to the limit of her sight, shards of crystal as big as an ocean liner jutting up from the ground...and the statues!! Thousands of fantastical statues, some human looking, some animal, and some a bit of both, strange looking insect type things..all motionless before her eyes.

"Its..its beautiful she thought to herself. "Yes" the man said. Laura was SURE she hadnt spoken out loud, but this was all so strange...she had doubts about everything.

This was all too much for Laura and she slumped to the floor...her eyes were level with the mans shoes...except they no longer looked like shoes..they resembled..... hooves, cloven hooves...and they were smoldering.

"You see Laura" said the man, I have a brother...he lives in, shall we say, a "different" area than I do...for some reason I cannot fathom, he listens to you humans and every now and then grants a wish, especially annoying as it affects me. Do you remember the last thing you thought of before sleeping last night? Thats right Laura, THINK!....I see its coming back to you now as Laura began to understand she started moaning "no No No it CANT be"...Yes Laura said Lucifer, it is. Dodge has fixed your Hemi tick and Hell has frozen over!!!!

Laura awoke in the hotel bed, bathed in a cold sweat..."Oh my GOODNESS what a weird dream" she laughed out loud. Gotta stay away from that Marinara sauce before bed..jeez what a dream!

As Laura was opening up the drapes her cell rang and it was the dealership telling her they had found the problem and were issuing a Recall Notice for all variants of the Hemi engines exhibiting the ticking problem. Hers would be one of the first in line. Laura couldn't be happier!

Laura padded to the bathroom, looking forward to one of the best days of her life. She had WON and would celebrate by doing some shopping and buying a few things for her beloved Challenger. She put that crazy dream out of her mind and entered the bathroom.

The ambulance arrived 7 minutes after the hysterical shrieking started in Lauras room...."she'll be fine" said the EMT to the hotel employee and Laura s next door room guest. We think shes had some sort of traumatic incident and the stress just caught up with her...we'll keep her calm for a few hours and send her on her way.

The hotel employee watched as the woman named Laura was taken out on the gurney...the woman with pure, snow white hair, who he knew for a certainty had checked in the night before with vibrant blonde hair...


NOTE: If I have intruded on the thread, or anything, please tell me and I can delete this. Just thought I'd try my hand at adding something for a change :)
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Dodge has fixed your Hemi tick and Hell has frozen over!!!!

hahahahahahahah... maybe I'll wish for this tonight!!!
 

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"The hotel employee watched as the woman named Laura was taken out on the gurney...the woman with pure, snow white hair, who he knew for a certainty had checked in the night before with vibrant blonde hair..."

At least give back her vibrant blond hair, Jimmy's having breakfast with her in the morning.:surprise:
 

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"As The Hemi Ticks"
(The Lost Episodes) continued
Jimmy enters the dining room and sees Laura sitting by the window with a cup of coffee texting on her cell phone. Good morning, Laura. She looks up from her phone and does a double take, you shaved your beard off. My God, you do look like George! I told you I look more like George than George does. She continues to stare at him with her mouth half open. You get yourself anything to eat yet? Hello! Oh...no I'm good with just coffee. He says you can go back to your texting now and walks over to the buffet counter. In five minuets. he back at the table with a plate full of food and a tall glass of orange juice. Really Jimmy, you’re going to eat all that? That must be half a pound of bacon and 4 scrambled eggs and half stick of butter on that toast. What?....it's everything the government is against so that equates to health food to me. Whatever! Could you answer some questions for me Jimmy? Sure, go ahead. In the last 2 day I heard so many stories about you and Duke I just want to see if I have everything straight. Okay, where do you want to start? First, you turned down the lead role in "Saturday Night Fever"? Yes, but I choreographed that movie as well as Grease. You are the 2nd most interesting man in the world? No, that something Duke came up with. You own Jimmy Johns? Yes and No, me and my brother started it years ago but we sold it later on, but I still do some contract work for them. Alright what about John Wayne being Duke's father? As far as I know that's true, anything else? That's all for now. If you go to see Willie today be warned, he has a story from when we were in Junior High. Oh, by the way I'm in on that Willie lunch thing, so what’s the story? Well back on 65' we were both new on the track team and the coach was instructing the team how to execute the high jump. At that time everyone did the high jump by going over the bar belly first. I tried and tried but I couldn't do it, so I did what came natural for me and jumped the bar back first. Soon I was jumping higher than anyone else. They kept raising the bar 1 inch at a time until I couldn't jump any higher. However that was 9 inches higher than the next highest jumper and a school record. I didn't think much about it at the time, but 3 years later Dick Fosbury copied my style and went on to win the gold medal at the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City. The high jump was coined the Fosbury Flop. Willie thinks it should have been the Travolta Flop. John would never have made it as a actor if Hollywood would associated Travolta Flop with him. So I think thing it’s good the way it is. Laura says, Marilyn was right, you are like Forest Gump. Well not quite, but I did………She stops him, DO NOT EVEN START. Have it your way, he says, I’ll get us checked out, get my things and I’ll meet you out front.

He heads for the front desk and she to her room. A few minutes later he walk out to the parking lot to see Laura waiting on the sidewalk. Why is my car parked over there, he asks, I didn’t get my fob back last night, did I, you went for a joy ride, didn’t you? What’s with the 20 questions, I was just having a little fun, you’d never known if I could have parked in the same space. Hope you left me some gas. I did, you should be more worried about your tires though. Ha-ha, well I’ll give you your choice of which one you want to drive. She tossed her fob to him before he’s done talking. Well let’s get loaded up and get out of here, where heading west on I-40 till we get to Kodak, then you follow me, Okay. Okay, she says.

The trip was uneventful except for Laura kept trying to get me to race and the looks we got from those that managed to pass us. Coming up on out exit I pass Laura and motion her to follow me. We get off exit 407 and start south, in a few miles Jimmy turns off into The Smoky Mountain Knife Store and parks in a remote spot then Laura parks beside him. Is this where we are meeting Willie. No, We’ll meet him at the Crappie Pro Shop back at the interstate, We have some time to kill and I wanted to pick up a knife for my brother-in-law Ellis, something I do every Christmas. They enter the store and she sees a sign that says "This is entrance 2 remember this member". After a few minuets Laura is looking up, down, left and right. This store is huge she says, there is multiple levels step and ramps waterfalls animated animals playing musical instruments. This is so cool, that counter must be 150 feet long with just knives for the kitchen. There is any kind of knife you will ever need in this store said Jimmy, big small, old new, cheap expensive, you name it, it's here. I believe you, I been here 5 min. and I'm already lost, she said. You just remember that entrance number and we'll be alright. They get to the section of new pocket knives and Jimmy starts searching for the perfect knife. Do you collect knives Jimmy? Oh I have a couple hundred. He circles the display 3 or 4 times and finally points at one and the salesman pulls it out of the case and hands it to Jimmy. He holds it up and looks at it form every angle opens and closes the blades. Yeah, this is it, and the salesman wipes it clean, wraps it in the original tissue paper and puts it in its box. Jimmy ask Laura if she's ready to go and she indicates yes with a head nod. Now to find our way out, Jimmy takes the lead and they weave there way back through the store. Do you always spend this much time and effort for one Christmas gift. Actually this is the only Christmas gift I shop for, I don't care much for the Christmas season, never have. You could have fooled me, she says. Well my brother-in-law is unjustly shunned by the rest of the family and this is my way of showing him and the others, I have his back. I know what you mean Christmas never appealed to me either. Oh...there is entrance 2 she says, you know how to get out of here all along, didn't you. Well lets say I've been here a few times before. As they start back north towards the interstate...............to be continued
 

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“As The Hemi Ticks”
(The Lost Episodes) continued

Heading north towards the interstate Jimmy and Laura turn left just past I-40 and travel up the road to the entrance of the Crappie Pro Shop. Jimmy spots Willie’s red Challenger and parks beside it and gets out as Laura is parking, he indicates to her to put her window down. Is this okay here she says. Yes its fine, I just want you to put this knife in the glove box for me please and he walks to the back of the car to wait on her. She does as he asks and notices 2 Alabama concert tickets for Niagara Falls Mar. 3, 2015 and 2 back stage passes, wow...this like looking in someone’s medicine cabinet, she gets out and lock the car and catches up to Jimmy. As they are walking to the entrance Laura says, Couldn’t they have named it Walleye, Bass or something other than Crappie. You would think so, I bet there is an interesting story behind it though. This looks like a sporting goods store to me. There’s a restaurant called Uncle Buck’s Grill inside. Okay, just checking!
They enter the store, pass through the fishing section and into Uncle Buck’s. Jimmy spots Willie motioning them over to the table. As they approach the table Laura can see by their reactions, these two are old friends. Jimmy and Willie shake hands and Willie quickly gives Jimmy a bear hug and lifts him off the ground, Willie says, how you doing you old Bastard. I can’t complain says Jimmy, well you’re looking fit. After exchanging greetings, Willie notices Laura, who’s this pretty young lady you brought with you? Jimmy says, this is Laura, you know the lady that took her Shaker to Duke to have the ticking checked out. Aha, I remember, we have a lot in common, me and you. Pleased to meet you Laura, have a seat. Pleased to meet you also, so you and Jimmy been friend since high school? Actually since grade school, I used to save his life every other week, he could talk a good game but couldn’t fight worth a damn. I haven’t ordered yet, I was waiting on you. They all pick up a menu and quietly look it over. The server introduces herself and asks, what can I get for you, Laura takes the Chicken Quesadilla with a bottle of water, Jimmy and Willie both order the Crappie Pro Burger, with everything, Onion Rings and water. So Doug, your setting up a computer system for someone here in town, asks Jimmy. Wait a second, Laura says, I thought his name was Willie! It is, said Jimmy, there is his professional name, Willie, when he's doing music and his normal name Doug. Alright she says. Yeah, Jimmy, I have 3 accounts in Sevierville, there the same business but with different names, check this out. Doug hands a card to Laura and a card to Jimmy. Laura reads her's first, "Sevierville Proctologist Inc. We're not #1 butt we're up there", Laura starts laughing and continues to laugh as Jimmy reads his card. "Proctologist of Sevierville Inc. Your Business is our Business". Laura laughs even harder. Jimmy and Doug look at each other, she must have the giggles, Jimmy says. Doug reads his, "Proctologist R Us Inc. Don't Get Goosed Without Us". After a minute she finally calms down and says, sorry guys, I just think everything is funny right now, then asks Doug what progress he's making on his tick issue. I had it in for the umpteenth time last week and they took the valve covers off and did and inspections, according to them it's normal. Here's the kicker, I pick it up and drive home, half way there I look in the rear view and see smoke bellowing out the back..Are you serious, she says. Yeah....yeah I thought it finally blew up. I pull off the road, popped the hood and wait for the smoke to clear, when it does I see oil gushing out the back of the valve cover and dripping on the exhaust. Now I have burnt oil smell inside the car. I had it towed back to the dealership and they fixed the valve cover leak and changed the oil. Bottom line, I thing I will have to file a Lemon Law case, I've had it. Laura says, I have a few hoop yet to jump through and I'll probably file suit also. You know Laura, unlike Jimmy here, who could fall through the hole in an outhouse and come out smelling like a rose, pardon my French, if I fell in barrel of boobs I'd come out sucking my thumb. This set Laura off on another laughing jag. After a few moments she takes a napkin and dries her eyes, and takes a deep breath, okay....okay I'm okay now. Sometime I have to laugh just to keep from crying. Maybe we could share information to help each other build a case against Dodge. Laura and Doug trade E-Mail addresses and phone numbers while the food is served.
The server sets there order on the table and Laura says, after the breakfast you shouldn’t even be hungry. Let my guess, Jimmy had a pile of bacon for breakfast, he loves his bacon, once his car was a quart low on oil and he didn’t have any oil on hand so he goes in the kitchen and get a jar of bacon grease and spoons it in the engine. Spoons it, Laura says. He didn’t warm it up so it was more or less solid. Jimmy interrupts, it was my first car, A 1963 Ford Falcon Futura, white with red interior, 170cid in-line 6 with a 2 speed auto. I’d had it about 2 years and it was on its last leg anyway. It burned oil so when I put the bacon grease in, it smelled like bacon cooking, I got hungry every time I drove it. What was your first car Laura, Doug asks. 1976 Ford Mustang II Cobra, it was white with blue strips, if you ever watched Charlie’s Angles it’s the same car that Farrah Faucet drove. It had a Boss 302 with an Edelbrock high rise intake manifold and a Holly 600 cfm 4 barrel carb. I would take it to the track and could pull 11’s all day long. I wish I still had it today, but it got stolen and never recovered. I used to be known as “The little blonde cutie for Porter Center". Jimmy and Doug look at each other and in sync say, she’s a motor head. Doug says, I could listen to her talk like that for hours. Jimmy tells Doug, that’s not going to happen today, we got to get down the road.
Jimmy asks Doug where he is staying at while you’re in town. At the River View Inn in Sevierville. We'll be staying overnight and leaving for home in the morning, would you like to join us for dinner tonight? Sure, don't like eating alone. I'll call you with the time and place after we get settled in Alright. Sounds like a plan. Good! Jimmy grabs the check and Doug says, let me take care of that, I invited you after all. Jimmy quickly walks to the cashier while getting his wallet out. He always wants to be the big shot and pay the check and I always let him. He hasn't let me pay for anything yet, Laura says. Don't worry about it, he's a very generous person and he can afford it, just a thank you is all he wants in return. Jimmy returns and drops a tip on the table. Ready to roll Laura, Sure, nice meeting you Doug and I guess we will see you for dinner. Likewise, see ya later. Doug stays to finish up some business related paper work. Jimmy and Laura get back on the road towards Pigeon Forge..............to be continued
 

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Yep. that was my car... a long time ago!
 

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“As The Hemi Ticks”
(The Lost Episodes) continued

As they approach the cars and Laura get in Jimmy’s Shaker, he asks her if he will ever get his car back. She smiles and with her palms up and shrugged shoulders says, we’ll see. Jimmy leaves and Laura follows. The first light they are stopped at She opens the glove box and get the Alabama tickets out. I didn’t see this before, but these are the best seats in the house. She turns over the paper clipped tickets and there is a hand written note attached that says, For Laura Dell, compliments of Randy. Laura can't contain herself and lets out a Woooo Hoooo. Jimmy hears her and looks in the rear view mirror, he thinks to himself, she sure is a wild one while shaking his head. After traveling through Sevierville and into Pigeon Forge he turns right then left into the Hotel parking lot. They both park, and get their luggage and start for the hotel entrance, Laura says, you don’t have a sister working here, do you, in a slightly sarcastic tone? Jimmy chuckles, no…but I’ve been here before and I know a few people who work here. Inside the lobby Jimmy goes to the front desk, and the man behind the desk says, good afternoon Jimmy, checking in? Hi Keith, yes we are. Let’s see, as you requested I have 2 suites with mountain views ready for you, shall I put this on your card we have on record.Yes please. Laura says, I can pay for my own room Jimmy! No, I invited you, you’re my guest, besides, go look at the marquee out front. She get a puzzled look on her face and walks outside to look. Scrolling across the marquee in flashing lights it says, Welcome to Pigeon Forge Laura! your money’s no good here. Laura throwers her hands up and roll her eyes as she steps back into the lobby. How the hell do you do that? Jimmy and Keith have a good laugh then Laura starts laughing too. Okay…...Trying to compose himself, Keith explains the room card can be used to purchase anything in the hotel. This is yours Laura, by the way, glad to meet you. Thank you, it’s my pleasure. And Jimmy here is yours, enjoy your stay. They ride the elevator to the 6th floor and follow the signs to room 621 for her and 623 for him. Jimmy says, I’ve got to catch up on my e-Mail and such I’ll see ya later and we can decide where we will eat this evening. Okay, I will probably have to do the same, bye for now.

After unpacking Jimmy grabs his laptop and phone and finds a comfortable overstuffed chair in the lobby by the fireplace and settles in. He phones Dixie to check in. Hello!...Hi dear, its Jimmy…hey Jimmy....calling to let you know we got here okay and we’re checked in…..that’s good, so Laura took you up on your offer!....yeah, I think she’s tired of fighting Dodge for now, she will be back at it when she get home, I think I’ll stay another day and come back Thursday, I may just stay till Friday. you alright with that…..whatever you want to do I’m good with, you know the longer you stay the harder it is to leave….I know…..is Laura staying too…..I haven’t asked her yet, that will be up to her…..hey, did y’all have lunch with Doug…yeah, it was good to see him, we’re having dinner tonight too…..why don’t you ask him and Peggy Sue (Doug’s wife) to join us on our May trip to Townsend…you know I was about to ask you the same thing, I’ll ask him tonight…..I’ll let you go, got to get back to work, love you…love you too bye bye…..bye. Jimmy check for messages and E-mails, nothing, good, a slow day. He logs on to ChallengerChat to catch up on the latest posts. Here’s something new, “As The Hemi Ticks Soap Opera”. He starts at the first post and reads to the end. I just got done reading that thread also. Jimmy turns around to see Laura looking over his shoulder. It almost sounds like us. Really, I don’t see it, His name is Jimmie, he’s a George Carlin look-a-like, his car is white, she is Laure, her car is silver and she looks like Phillis Diller with a black wig. Well sort of the flip side of us. Yeah, I agree with that, its just too bad everybody can't be beautiful like us ha ha.

Take a load off, put your feet up, the fire feel good. She sits in the chair adjacent to Jimmy. This is nice, if I sit here too long I'll go to sleep. We don't want that, you;ll be up all night driving around. You know me too well Jimmy, she says with a little laugh. We have several hours till dinner and I'm going over to Townsend to check out some property. If you want to go you're more than welcome to ride along. Where is it? Oh about 20 minutes west of here, unless I take the scenic route through the Park on a road that's pretty much like The Tail of the Dragon. She perks up, can I drive? Jimmy smiles at her, hesitates a few seconds then says, yeah....sure, just one rule you need to obey. Whats that? When you're on the park road I don't mind if you drive a little spirited, but never cross the center line. You got it. She stands up to leave and Jimmy says, hold on a minute, I have an E-Mail to sent first, if you would please, go up to my room and get a jacket, it might be a good idea if you yours too. He gives her his room card then disappears into the elevator. Five minutes later she is back and sees Jimmy just looking into the fire with a faraway look in his eye. He doesn't notice she's returned and she leans into his line of sight and he snaps back to reality. You ready to go she asks. Yeah, I was daydreaming and he takes his jacket and room card from her. Thank you he says and grabs his laptop and they walk out to the parking lot..............to be continued
 

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"As The Hemi Ticks"

(The Lost Episode) continued

As they leave the hotel Jimmy asks Laura which Shaker she wants to take? Lets go tick-less. Wise choice. They both jump in and buckle up then Laura drives up to the Parkway. Which way Jimmy? Turn right and stay on the Parkway until we get to the Gatlinburg bypass. As they stop at light #7 and Jimmy points to the Old Mill Restaurant, that's one of your favorites isn't it. I've been there before and there corn chowder is to die for. You want to go there tonight or try someplace else? Yeah, lets do that. I'll call Doug,is 6ish alright. That will be fine. Jimmy calls Doug and fills him on the dinner details. After leaving Pigeon Forge the contrast from city to forest is sudden. The tree lined road with its curves, ups and downs is inviting to Laura. Be careful with your speed, this road, all the way to the park is heavily patrolled, you get a speeding ticket, that hotel card is no good out here. Funny Jimmy, ha ha. She veers right onto the bypass. Jimmy, I want to thank you for all that you've done for me, I don't quite understand it, but I do appreciate it. You're very welcome Laura, I only wish you could have gotten your tick issue revolved. In all the years we, Duke, Marilyn and myself, have been doing this, you are the first one to go home empty handed. Ever since I ordered the Shaker Laura says, every step on the process has been a pain in the butt. You first got my attention when you went on your famous rant on March 25. I remember she says, I think you came back with something about driving to Dodge Headquarters and burning your LaBra, that seem so so long ago. Laura, from that point on it seems trouble has been following you. That is why I decided to pick you to come to White Motors. I had Duke give you an offer you couldn't refuse, when you accepted, I had Duke schedule an appointment to coincide with the time I would be here during my business with Jimmy John. Everything went as planned until yesterday afternoon. After I ran into you 3 time and you found out who I was, I thought I might as well try to salvage the situation. I figured you probable set aside up to a week to have your car fixed and Doug called to have lunch today. I decided I'm not ready to get home just to go back to work. I don't think you relished the idea of a 10 hour drive back home, feeling the way I can only imagine you were feeling. So I asked you to join me and take a break from reality, put your problems in your back pocket for a few days and hopefully the drive home will be somewhat better. Laura asks, but why are you doing all of this for me in the first place? That's simple, someone helped me once and I'm just paying it forward. I actually get more out of this than you do, you've heard the saying "it's better to give than receive", it's absolutely true.


Oh, you'll want to turn right at the Sugarlands Visitor Center sign. Laura turns right and says, is this the road? This is it, It's fairly straight for a few miles then it gets pretty curvy. Laura says, I love this kind of road, no houses, buildings or signs cluttering everything, the asphalt is perfect without potholes or patches, it looks new but I know it;s not. The white lines are white and the yellow lines yellow and not worn or faded. Out taxes at work, finally something I can use! As the road goes from long sweeping curves to short straights and tight curves, Laura has a permanent smile on her face. It's a joy just to watch her work the clutch and shifting gears, working the curves with the gas and brake petals. Luckily it's off season and the traffic is light so she's not hindered by slow cars. You know, this is the first time I've been the passenger on this road, there is some really nice scenery. I hadn't noticed, I'm pretty much in the zone. After 20 minutes the road goes back to long curves and straights, the forest ends and suddenly they're in Townsend. Wow, This is a lot different than Pigeon Forge, she says. Let me give you the "Readers Digest" version of the tour. This town is known as "The Quiet Side Of The Smokies", It's about the same size as Pigeon Forge, 5 miles end to end, but there is only 1 traffic light, 2 fast food joints, no CVS's or Walgreens, maybe half a dozen gas stations, a bunch of cabin rentals and Mom & Pop restaurants, it's a lot slower pace here, I'll give you that, where to now? You'll need to turn left when the road turns back to 2 lane. How do you know so much about this town, she asks. We came here 20 years ago and rented a cabin, we've been coming to to this area once or twice a year ever since. I been looking for property because we plan to move here after we retire. Turn left at the road just past the Backporch Restaurant. Laura turns onto the road, it winded for about a half mile then opens up to a large valley with a golf course in the center.


Turn left here and stay on this road until we get to White Oak Drive, it should be about a mile. There it is she says, and turns left up a steep incline. Stop up here where it levels off by that For Sale sign. Laura parks and they get out, Jimmy turns his laptop on and brings up the plot plan for the property then tries to determine where the property lines are located. Laura says, this is so steep, can a house be built on this? Oh sure, I know it looks impossible but if you look around most houses are build on steep slopes. This isn't what I'm looking for, Why, what's wrong with it? The view, it had to have a killer view, don't get me wrong, this is a nice view but it's not it. I'd say it's a million dollar view, she says. Back in the car, he says, I'll show you a million dollar view. She turns around and drives back down the hill. Turn left and go to the next road. She does as he says, and drives about a mile always going up with switch backs and hair pin turns. He points to a spot at the crest of the mountain. They park and both get out. Now this is a million dollar view! This is so awesome, you can see the whole golf course in the for-ground and 4 or 5 mountain ridge lines on the background. They walk over to the edge of the road and he ask her, would you like to take a seat on my front porch? They both sit on a small patch of grass beside the road. This is like the top of the world, this is the view I'm looking for, you should see it in the Spring. Is this for sale? No, I've offered the owner 25% over the going property's value but he still won;t sell, My only hope is when he dies his son will sell it to me. Is he old, in ill heath or something? No, he's about 20 years younger than me. She looks at him as if she's waiting for the other show to drop when he busts out laughing. They sit there a little while longer and stare at the view. Well, we better start back, he helps her up and they get back in the car and turn around. Try to use the engine to spare the brakes, they can heat up pretty fast on this down grade. How high do you think we are, My ears popped 3 times on the way up. I don't know but mine popped 2 times. They retrace the drive back to the main road in Townsend and start back to Pigeon Forge.


What's your dream Laura, Jimmy asks. Me, I kind of got off track since this ticking thing reared if ugly head. We already built out dream house, its bigger than we need but, we wanted to have family functions there and room for sleep overs. How many children do you have? Two girls and one boy, but I guess they're men and women now, there in there 20's and 30's. And I don't want to forget about grandchildren, two little boys. Do you have any children? Two boys, no grandchildren, neither one of them is married, so we're not holding out any hope. My grandchildren are my pride and joy, I guess we have more time and wherewithal to give them than we did our own children. Besides I know the ins and outs after learning from my mistakes, if you know what I mean. Jimmy tells Laura to turn Left here at the only light in town. This is not the way we came is it? No, but this will get us back to the hotel 3 times quicker. I try to keep this car thing from affecting my family but I know it does sometimes. So that's what I'm all about Jimmy, although moving south does cross my mind from December. to March. Yeah, I can relate to that. This road is pretty cool too, look at that banked hairpin! I've been down this road at the height of tourist season and had several motorcyclist pass me on a blind right hand turn. Really, are you kidding me Jimmy. That's why you never cross the yellow line. Back in Pigeon Forge Laura says, I wish I could have driven back the way we drove over to Townsend. Maybe tomorrow we can do it again. you're going home tomorrow aren't you? No, I may not leave until Fri., you game? Laure hesitates a second and bites her lower lip, I think I'll stay, you're right I did count on taking up to a week so I might as well take advantage of it, I may never have an opportunity like this again. Good, I thing I'm going to need more gas though. She pulls in the hotel lot and parks then says, thanks again Jimmy. Hey, you're doing me a favor, otherwise I would have to hire someone to drive me around................to be continued
 
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