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Do WTF you want is very different from a discussion that ends in agreement. That sounds like the husband and wife were arguing and she got pissed and gave up.
 

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I think anyone inconsiderate enough to not discuss a purchase that large with their spouse is the one with problems. Permission may be a bit of a strong word, but I wouldn’t dream of buying ANY new car, much less one that’s $86K without discussing it with my wife and knowing she was also ok with it.
"permission" is the problem I had with the comment.

Of course you're gonna talk about it. I'm also going to assume you can afford the "toy".

If it's actually what you're going to call a "large purchase" you'd have to discuss it.

On the other-hand if the car is within your ability to buy and you need/want a car I'm not sure why anyone would have to ever ask for clearance to the make purchase. This goes both ways in my house.

If your telling me the car is a BIG REACH that will require monthly payments or a big dive into an investment account then yeah, I get it. You'll need "permission" but here's the thing about that. I wouldn't buy a car that requires us to reach. It's a car a sure money loser and expense over time. It's got to be easily affordable or I ain't buying it.

As a couple my wife and I both understand where we are financially speaking and what we can buy without discussion of specifics if it's a car I will drive or if it's a car she will drive pretty exclusively. I don't need permission to buy a specific car and she doesn't need it from me when she wants or needs a car she will drive. This is possible because we both have a very clear understanding of what we as couple can easily afford without screwing up a planned financial situation.

Where would I actually look for clearance on the purchase? That would be the Pick up truck I bought a couple of years ago. We both drive it. So obviously she had to involved and I'd even go so far as to say I did have to get "permission" for that purchase. But on car she'll never drive? Not-so-much!
 

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Although my wife would kill me faster than agent Smith.
You might get "forgiveness" but ultimately something far bigger might get lost in that approach.

Money is not unlike Love in a relationship when betrayal happens.

You better have a clear understanding as a couple about where and at what level an expense needs a discussion or "trust" could be lost. It's pretty hard to come back fully from that once it's lost.

The scrutiny that comes after betrayal has got to be pretty hard to live with.
 

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Discussion Starter #25
Well....this post went sideways fast lol.

I suppose if we were independently wealthy, then in Theory I could just go buy a new hellcat or Demon without letting her know first...and she might not care one way or another.

But I’m going to assume 9 out of 10 men always discuss it with the wife first.
Much like a motorcycle, women feel as though they should have a say so on items they know we are likely to be stupid on lol.

Guns, cars, bikes....you know deep down that you either talk it over, or sneek it in when she isn’t looking lol.
 
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