I think this is mostly just a case of inaccurate use of terminology. If you just replace the term "back pressure" with "velocity", then the old adage statement makes perfect sense. It just so happens that both velocity and back pressure are conceptually associated with a smaller exhaust pipe dia, hence the laymen may find them to be interchangeable terms. Velocity (which can be likened to be an aspect of "dynamic" back pressure) is at the very core of choosing the appropriate size exhaust size (not too big and not too small)...static back pressure, not so much as far as being good for the engine.
Ideally, the exhaust pipe size would scale up or down in realtime based on engine rpm (in conjunction with displacement property). Obviously, it can't, so the next best thing is to choose a size that still gives good velocity at lower rpm, while not being too restrictive (from classic back pressure) at higher rpm. The next best thing is an exhaust that could go from a single tube to a double tube configuration at a prescribed rpm. So you get the best of velocity benefits at lower engine speeds, while also getting the best velocity benefits with an exhaust that flows well at higher engine speeds. Some fancy-pants cars do already try to employ this concept on the exhaust side. Obviously, the same idea on the intake side has existed for some time.
The obvious implication here, is that the wider the rpm range that a modern engine has, the less suitable a fixed-size exhaust system can accommodate the engine, w/o sacrifice at some operational extreme.
As far as exhaust modification, probably the most basic guidance is to keep the exhaust pipe size you have to maintain optimal velocity that the engine designers intended, but seek an (oversized?) muffler with the least amount of back pressure to yield max performance. The assumption here is that the flow properties of the exhaust pipe are probably right where it needs to be, and you are essentially shopping a muffler that can meet the same flow properties as the pipe it connects to (because that muffler will be the limiting factor as far as flow and back pressure). The mistake that is most often made is to upsize the exhaust pipe and muffler, which is totally a shot in the foot. The exhaust system flows great, but the engine will never benefit from it unless it is screaming at its last 1500 rpm of powerband (probably just fine on a car that will live on competitive road courses, but not so great for a car meant for transportation on public streets or hwy). The exhaust system is essentially suited for a significantly larger engine, at that point.
Now if you are making significant engine changes (forced induction, boring, stroking, etc), then that changes where the exhaust size needs to be altogether...